Emellia Lullaby ♥

hey peeps. its my going to 6th days in hospital in 15 mins time. and guess what, i just finish bathing. bathing deep cold water from head to toe. and this is my 3rd time doing so. im just freaking stress up. i miss my dum dum boyfriend so much. i did tell him but he.. sigh. anw we broke up. and he want me to ensure that i wont go back to him anymore and i think i really wont. i dont want him to lie to himself anymore like zahid case. it hurts him so much and i dont want that to happen. niwae, i just get to know from nurse that my ultra sound result sucks. sigh and now, im really scared. sigh. while typing this, im crying and my head is spinning. plus my tummy is getting pain. but i know one thing, he dont care. i texted rina to takecare of allip for me. cux i guess this time im really going away. i love him. his my first love. and im sure im gonna miss him. but rina mistook me of doing silly things again. im not, i just wanna go down n chill. rina call allip and that makes allip to call me. instead of comforting, he yell. hurt. very hurt. den he texted saying that his just joking. he said he wanna give me a surprise actually. sigh n i dont know whether his lying again or not. im not sure. very unsure. i text him something to KISS. keep it short and simple. love me cause he want us to be a real thing in future and not because he sympathy towards me or scared that i will do stupid things. thats all. if he stay because of sympathy and scared, i told him not to come cux im strong. im letting him go tonite if thats his reason. but truthfully, im hoping him to come. but if his not coming, i will be strong. i also promise rina not to do anything stupid. promise is a promise. lastly, i want him to know, that i love him. and if really im having a sickness like what zahid say, im waiting for you baby putri cinta isabella. w/out him, i will bring u up to be sumone in this lifetime. i promise cinta.